"Eight teenagers are trapped after hours in a high tech shopping mall and pursued by three murderous security robots out of control."
There was a time in the mid 80's where you can take the simple formula of throwing a group of horny teenagers, put them in the right place ( of course at the wrong time )throw in a escaped maniac or undead killer and you got yourself a average horror film. But what I like about Chopping Mall is that it somewhat twists the formula a little bit without going too much over the top. What if we threw them in a shopping mall ( haven't seen many of those since Dawn Of The Dead ) and instead of a basic killer with a ghostly back story or little ghoul monsters, we'll throw in some high-tech security robots ( equipped with lasers, explosive devices, and tasers ) and let them go haywire ? Needless to say. It worked.
The killbots
Chopping Mall starts off quite quickly, with no bullshit. It also boasts quite a title theme during the opening credits, it has a synth type feel and totally up the alley for 80's horror theme fans. Our robots are introduced as the new security officers for the mall to deter thieves from breaking in. On the first night of their "job", a freak electrical surge causes their systems to malfunction and things from then on get deadly. Unsuspectingly a group of teenagers plan to unleash their hormones and stay the night in the now lock down mall.
Our group of teens is pretty much 80's galore. Super lame-o 80's dudes ( these guys are considered cool or dreamboats ?! Women in the 80's were all fucked in the head ), we also have the nerd, the overly dumb meat head jock and of course the babe girlfriends. There's a few familiar faces you may recognize in the group for you die hard fans like myself. One is the lovely Barbara Crampton ( Re-Animator, From Beyond, Castle Freak ), the other being Kelli Maroney ( Night Of The Comet ).
Barbara Crampton about to taste death
There's also a slew of cameos of other recognizable faces throughout the film, including Mary Woronov ( Terrorvision, Night Of The Comet ), Paul Bartel ( Gremlins 2, Killer Party ), Dick Miller ( Night Of The Creeps, Demon Night, Gremlins ), Gerrit Graham ( Childs Play 2, Terrorvision ).
Right before the infamous head explosion
Basically from here on, the couples "get it on", which we all know is a big no-no if you want to survive a horror movie ! So if you ever find yourself in this situation, try to keep your pants on. Upon exploring the mall, they group runs head on into the now killer robots who then start their bloody rampage. The rest of the film is basically our group attempting to fight back by orchestrating plans using the resources in the mall to fight back the KillBots while the body count rises.
Fried douchebag
This film puts a smile on my face, it has a honest and fun cheesy feel to it. I would say its up there with the great 80's horror films of the era. But it didn't have much success during its initial run, it was first released under the title KillBots, and the producers felt the title may have disinterested audiences by thinking it was more like a Transformers type film instead of a violent horror film. It was then decided to change the title to re-release under the now classic title Chopping Mall. What else do you think it could be with a title like that ? Luckily it gained a huge cult status over the years, and rightfully so. Its chock full of cheesy humor and 50's sci-fi references ( hence the KillBots ). The acting is campy, but it fits right because its supposed to be campy ! The plot moves at a pretty decent pace, so its never boring. All the characters are dispensable but entertaining to watch. A great solid way to burn up a hour and a half. You have to see Chopping Mall, trust me, its worth the watch.
Gore : 2/5- There is some memorable death scenes in this one, burned to death, throats slashed, decapitation, electric shock, and one super cool head explosion scene. Could of been more though.
Gratuitous Nudity : 2/5 - This one does have some skin action, we get a few nice ones for the boobie lovers, one scene from Barbara Crampton herself as well.
Alternate poster art
Death Count : 8+
Special FX : 2/5 - Not to much happening here, while the head explosion was probably the best effect in the film, there isn't much else that surpasses it, the robots are pretty basic as well ( what the fuck do you expect, its robots ! ).
Things to look for : In the pizza parlor there's several theater posters of other B- horror movies adorning the walls. Such as Slumber Party Massacre, Forbidden World and many others. In another scene a character tells one of the robots "Klaatu verata nicktu" which is a phrase used in the 1951 film The Day The Earth Stood Still and in Army Of Darkness.
Things you will learn from this movie
Showgirls just randomly walk around malls.
Robots are really polite after they kill you.
Paint is explosive.
Certain robots have unsettling "ethnic qualities".
Telling your woman she smells like pepperoni will turn her on.
Pizza shop chefs are always stereotypical italians.
All security guards do is look at nudie magazines.
Memorable quotes : "Lets send those fuckers a rambo-gram"
"Taking a wrong turn, travelers find themselves trapped in a mysterious house. One horror after another threatens them as the sorcerer who lives within needs sacrifices to give eternal life to his beautiful bride."
You know....sometimes you can get lost watching a movie from not paying attention, you lose the basic plot. But when you watch the entire movie.....and are lost literally through the entire thing....theres a big problem. That seems to be the problem with this particular film. Its a incoherent jumbled mess......but somehow its very entertaining. The special FX are top notch, even if the plot fails, the monsters and gore make up for it. Lets see if I can piece together a summary of what happens in this golden turd.
"Welcome Friends"
Our title credits seem to be pretty promising, has the whole creepy music and halloween/spookhouse type feel. I guess thats kinda cool. We get a shot of a old mansion in the middle of a cemetery thats also in a large forest, this is our set up for our "horror show" tonight. We are introduced to our main antagonist, Kreon, the sorcerer/wizard/what ever the hell he is, speaking sweet nothings to his comatose bride about how many souls he must sacrifice to bring her to life so they can be eternally happy together forever....blah blah. Apparently he has fetish for women in coffins or something, Kreon is into some kinky shit.
The sleeping beauty
Now this I can follow, and I guess this is our underlying story here. As the film progresses we meet a few characters that actually have nothing to do with the main story, one including a kid who ran away from home and some creepy guy that seems like a rapist. But they are short lived, only to get killed by one of Kreon's many monsters, ( a cat guy with a hook hand and cowboy spur boots....how scary ). But the fun doesn't stop yet. A group of rag tag people who just got thrown out from a party ( one of them is a stereotypical bad dude named Duke, dressed in leather duds ) stumble across Kreon's mansion and decide to continue the party.
The unsuspecting group
Upon futher inspection of the house they come across a ouija board, when one of the characters plays with the board, she immediately becomes possessed by Kreon and transforms into a ripoff of Evil Dead and attacks everyone. When the unsuspecting fools try to escape the mansion, they find the mansion is now surrounded by zombies and surprise, they are trapped.
Possessed, Evil dead ?
Well from here its pretty apparent what happens, all of our characters disperse into the mansion where they run into Kreon's monsters. We get some very interesting creatures throughout this movie and this is where the special FX really takes off. Our bag -o-ghouls include farting muck men....yes......FARTING muck men, which is by far the most hilarious part in the entire movie, reptile like imps ( total Ghoulies rip off ) and a giant spider woman just to name a few.
Bloodsucking Imp
It all winds down to the bride who awakens from her eternal slumber and refuses Kreon's advances to be with her. When she attempts to escape his clutches, she is attacked by a giant zombie horde that rip most of her clothes off ( cool ! ). This chase scene seems to drag on fucking FOREVER too. I don't know what the hell they were thinking. At the end of the film Kreon gives us the final "scare" by popping out of a crypt waving his arms around like a retard and laughing hysterically.
What kind of ending is this ?!
So what is it with this movie ? Does it make sense ? Not at all. At least it had super awesome FX behind it. Or else this would have been one ice cold turkey. This movie actually suffered a bad plot fate and incoherent story line because it had several different directors, and from what I hear left the set and quit the film one after another. I guess that explains everything. It just seems they tried putting as much creatures as they can pack into one movie and forgot all about the plot. This movie can really lose you, the film jumps to useless characters and its just mass chaos all about. But like I said, its worth a watch, especially for fans of cheesy 80's horror.
You can find Spookies on VHS format since it has not been officially released to DVD, or you can buy it off a online bootleg website.
Foreign VHS artwork
Gore : 3/5 - The victims deaths were pretty neat, we see a guy get sucked dry, a chick melted, its decent.
Gratuitous Nudity : 0/5 - Nothing at all ! BOOOO. And to think, the chick with the biggest rack doesnt whip em out. What a tease.
Death Count : 8 +
Special FX : 5/5 - The monsters were amazing. Super cool creatures and zombies.
Things you will learn from this movie
Following strange asian women into the darkness is never a good idea.
Grim reapers explode.
Monsters are really gassy.
Its always a good time to get laid, even when there's monsters all about.
Cat men wear fashionable clothes and boots.
Zombies just want their mommy.
Memorable quotes : " Uhhh look at me I'm Duke the horny ghost"
For as long as I can remember ive been infactuated with horror films, since a young child starting my interest/obsession walking through the local video stores that once occupied my area long ago. Looking and admiring all the VHS in the horror section that decorated the shelves, with the eye popping artwork gracing the covers, giving it a promise of a great scare and even better time.
I knew I found a new love.
Now, many years later, my interest in the genre flourished into collecting every horror film I could and as much memorabilia as I could handle. Clearing out all the local video stores, my collection accumulated to well over 2,000 films and still counting. I think its safe to say my interest is here to stay.
Seeing as I had so many films, I decided it would be fun to write reviews on the ones that were long forgotten or have yet to be seen. There's tons of great undiscovered gems just waiting to be uncovered and find a audience, hundreds of terrible turkeys that deserve recognition just for being so goddamn bad that they're great, and of course the big time greats that everyone knows and loves.
