Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Pit ( 1981 )

AKA: Teddy

"A solitary and strange boy wreaks revenge on the people who harasses him when he makes a disturbing discovery in the depth of a forest." 

What a gem this one is, and I say that with the utmost honesty. I have a VHS copy of this that I bought along with hundreds of tapes I purchased during a closeout of a old video store, so one day I randomly popped one in my VCR and it just so happened to be this flick.....good choice. The Pit was made in the golden era of horror films, in the very beginning of the 80's and must have missed its mark somewhere with the big greats that shadowed it. This film is gold, I mean you wont find a academy award winning movie, or amazing performances or shit like that. But you will find a very entertaining way to burn up a hour and a half.

"Can I ride your bike ?"
Our films central character is the autistic ( and insanely creepy ) Jamie Benjamin, who along with his stuffed best friend "Teddy" cause misery to the people of his town. This also must be a really small town, since he seems to be the only autistic kid for miles judging by the way people talk crap about him. But anyways, he's a pretty odd kid, he cuts nude pictures out of magazines and puts pictures of his neighbors on them, tries to ride the local kids bikes even though its obvious everyone thinks hes a total creeper, among other extremely odd shit he does throughout the film. But what REALLY sets him apart from everyone is that he has one really cool secret, he's found a giant hole in the ground, and deep down in that hole are ancient creatures called "Tra la logs" and hes the only one that knows they exist.....yet.

"Do you like washing me ?"
His parents hire a attractive babysitter named Sandy ( who's one of many sitters that failed ) who spends most of her time trying to understand the extremely odd  ( and perverted ) Jamie, while he falls in love with her. He also expresses his love by watching her sleep with her dirty pillows exposed, attempting to look under her skirt ( with his parents there too, this kid gives no fucks ! ), sneaking in while shes showering and writing creepy shit on the bathroom mirror, among other super creep insanities.

"Im sure we can find some bad people Jamie"
Everyday he leaves to go find food for the Tra la logs, but nothing seems to fit their appetite ( I don't think monsters like chocolate bars son )  until he finally discovers that they crave raw meat. So one day Teddy gives him the bright idea ( yes, Teddy speaks to him as a voice inside his head ) that all the townspeople that treated him like crap should be next on the menu for the creatures. All the while poor Sandy is trying to make sense of the disappearances and Jamie's behavior, until Jamie finally decides to let her in on the big secret.

"So that's what you eat !"
I really love this film, I can see it not being for everyone, ill admit the Tra la logs look like midgets in suits in some shots and there is some extreme cheese.But there's alot of things The Pit has going for it. Sammy Snyders as Jamie Benjamin is super convincing as a perverted autistic kid. Waiting and watching for this character to do more weird shit is part of the fun, so the film never gets boring with that in mind. The music is really quirky and fits with the sillyness of the film perfectly. The acting is passable otherwise, no complaints here. I would recommend this to any horror fan or anyone that just wants to see something downright original and entertaining as hell. Its worthy of having some friends over and grabbing a case of beer.

Devouring victims
Gore : 1/5 - There's not much going on in the gore department, but to be honest, the film doesn't really need it. Though there is some decently gory shots of the creatures feasting on butchered human remains, but thats about all we get.

Gratuitous Nudity : 2/5 - We get a few boobie shots by Sandy and one hilarious one by the local librarian. See below.

A cool foreign DVD release cover
Death count : 10+

Special FX : - 3/5 -  The creatures are decently done, they have cool glowing eyes and the closeups arent bad. The gory eaten remains look realistic too. Could have been better but it works.

Best scene : - By far is one particular scene where Jamie cons the local librarian by calling and telling her that her daughter has been kidnapped, and the only way to get her back is to flash her old titties by the window while Jamie snaps pictures for Teddy ( Teddy also says he's going to look at them alot ). By far the most ridiculous shit ever ! Another memorable scene is Jamie pushing a old crippled woman in a wheelchair into the giant pit, so god damn funny.

Things you will learn from this movie 

Librarians are considered hot stuff.

Monsters eat chocolate.

When old people start the "back in my day" speech.....just kill them.

Convincing women to take off their tops is easy.

Teddy bears are perverts.

No one can see giant gaping holes in the ground.

Its hard to tell the difference between green and yellow.

Picking flowers for a girl should make her automatically forgive you  ( yeah right ).

Memorable quotes : "How old is your boyfriend ?" * Stares crazy eyed at Sandys chest *


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