Monday, October 22, 2012

Halloween ( 1978 )


AKA : The Babysitter Murders

Ready with the instinct to survive this night
If you haven't seen it, drop everything and watch it now. If never heard of it, you are on the wrong blog, you should be ashamed of yourself. This film was and still is one of the leading films in horror cinema. Without this significant film the horror genre would be very different today. Its been parodied, imitated, and inspired, not to mention ranked high in the horror world as the most successful independent horror film EVER.This low budget film took audiences by storm, and spawned 10 sequels spanning over 30 years, in addition merchandise in almost every department and a legion of die hard fans. I'm talking about John Carpenter's classic "Halloween". His first appearance on cinema screen has marked the legendary boogeyman, Michael Myers as one of the top ranking kings of modern horror. So since we are so close to the night itself, it would be sacrilegious not to give this cinema wonder it's well earned mention.

Peering from the dark stairwell
Well in case you have been living under a rock for a good portion of your life, ill give you the basic plot. Our story starts 15 years back on Halloween night in Haddonfield, Il, a young Judith Myers is babysitting her younger brother Michael on Halloween. Well babysitting is taking it lightly. Its more like she invited her boyfriend over for a little "trick and treat" if you know what I mean. Young Michael waits till the right moment when his sister is alone and violently murders her. Fast forward 15 years to the future on Halloween night. Michael has been locked away in a institution and under the care of his doctor, Dr. Sam Loomis. Loomis has spent years studying Myers, and come to the realization that Michael is just not mere psychotic, he is the purest form of evil, and Dr. Loomis is determined to keep him locked away for life. On the night of his transfer Michael Myers escapes from Dr. Loomis's ever watchful eye into the night where he first started his murder spree. He heads back to his Hometown of Haddonfield, Ill. As our audiences find out, Michael disguises himself and lurks in the shadows of Halloween night, hunting down his last remaining sister, Laurie Strode and killing off all of her closest friends. But hot on his trail is Dr. Loomis, determined to stop Michael once and for all.

Michael disguised as a ghost
"Halloween" was produced on a mere budget of $320,000 and grossed in over 240 million since 2012. Written by John Carpenter and then wife Debra Hill. It also launched the career of director John Carpenter who went on to make big horror hits as "The Thing" "The Fog" and "Christine" to name a few. Another star who rose to fame rooting from this film is Jamie Lee Curtis who played Laurie Strode, who made her acting debut here. Veteran actor Donald Pleasence became solidified in his role as Dr. Loomis, and became a staple in the sequels to come much like the prime antagonist Michael Myers. After viewing Carpenter's "Assault on Precinct 13" independent film producer Irwin Yablans and financer Moustapha Akkad sought Carpenter to direct them a film that would give audiences the same impact as "The Exorcist". Akkad funded the $320,000 to Carpenter in trust that he would make due with the money provided, and give the audiences nightmares for years to come. Halloween was shot in 21 days in spring of 1978 in South Pasadena, California and released just in time for the Halloween season. It was a mission accomplished. Audiences everywhere were scared to death, and all that had seen the film spread it by word of mouth to everyone they knew, and that helped jump start it to instant "must see" status. It helped build the film to spread across the word over the next year. The world had a new boogeyman, a new icon in Michael Myers.

"Halloween" Facts !

The original mask to be used was a Emmet Kelly Clown mask, but instead used was a Star Trek Captain Kirk mask ( played by the Price line negotiator himself, William Shatner ). The crew simply shaved off the sideburns, widened the eye holes and spray painted it white. In certain shots you can see the flesh tones of the original mask underneath the white paint.

Michael Myers was referred to as "The Shape" in the final credits.

Several people played Michael Myers, including John Carpenter, Debra Hill, and actor Tony Moran among many others. 

According to screenwriter/producer Debra Hill, the character of Laurie Strode was named after Carpenter's first girlfriend.

As the film was made in spring, the crew had huge difficulty in procuring pumpkins

Michael Myers' full name is never mentioned in the final film. In fact, the only time anybody refers to him by name is in the opening scene. 

Dr. Sam Loomis is Michael Myers' psychiatrist. Sam Loomis is also the name of Janet Leigh's ( Jamie Lee Curtis's mother ) secret lover in Psycho.

For its first airing on television, extra scenes had to be added to make it fit the desired time slot. Carpenter filmed these during the production of Halloween II against his better judgment.

John Carpenter composed the films creepy and recognizable score in 4 days.

Showdown of good versus evil
This film deserves all the stars I can give. My first viewing as a child gave me chills and cemented in my mind that the boogeyman just might be out there. Michael is relentless unstoppable force of evil. The intense feelings of claustrophobia and pure fear are prevalent throughout the film. The audience connections with Laurie as she is the good innocent girl caught in this tangled nightmare. The cinematography is excellent, especially the opening scene which is one continuous shot from the killers point of view. The music adds to this fear you get while watching the movie, and without it, the film would not be as frightening. So all in all this is the must see Halloween horror movie for everyone. You may too find yourself the boogeyman really out there ?

German poster art

Added bonus ! You can actually catch this film this Halloween season on the big screen starting this Thursday till Halloween in select theaters !

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Night of the Demons ( 1988 )


AKA: Halloween Party

What a smile ! Or she took oral hygiene a little too serious with a toothbrush ?
Well I'm back to it, and there ain't nothing to it but to do it ! What better time for a resurrection than nine days to Halloween ? So lets begin the countdown folks ! So tonight I bring you one of my personal favorites, the ever classic camp horror fest that is Night of The Demons.

One of the first things you see on screen, is a shot of Linnea Quigley's fanny
The glorious 80's were the best time for the blood flow on cinema screens, and nothing screams horror than the magical night that is Halloween, the formula went hand in hand and Halloween horror became a staple in movies. There is a good handful that made themselves into instant classics ( other than the titan of Samhain, Michael Myers ), and one is this great little romp. Directed by Kevin Tenney ( the b-movie master behind "Witchboard" ), this film had a fantastic and even mix of cheese, nudity, gore, camp, sex, comedy, and Linnea Quigley, who is arguably the best scream queen of all time ! Make up FX by the monster wizard Steve Johnson ( Videodrome, Nightmare On Elm Street 4 ) It completely shines what 80's horror was all about.

"WTF, I thought you said your boyfriend was dead !"
Angela is the total weirdo goth at high school and she is throwing a Halloween party at the local towns legendary abandoned haunted mansion Hull House, and all the cool kids are invited, and what a group we have too. The promiscuous vanity girl, Suzanne, played by Linnea Quigley, the always scared black guy  Roger, the big dopey punk rocker Stu, the interracial couple Frannie ( shes Asian too...Frannie...really ? ) and Max, the preppie douche-bag Jay, the typical tough guy-total ass-invites himself Italian guy Sal, the party pooper whiner Helen, and of course our goodie two shoes girl Judy, who really completes her innocent outfit by sporting a Alice In Wonderland costume. They all get invitations to Angela's bash, take the trip down Hull Road to Hull House and the party begins. The party is pretty lame actually so in order to keep in the Halloween spirit, they decide to conduct a seance with a large mirror they found in the parlor. Thats right parlor... because Hull House used to be a funeral home owned by the Hull family, and they all met a gruesome end when one of their clan slaughtered the whole family inside the mansion. Unbeknownst to the new guests, it still has a few of its demonic entities left behind lurking in those old walls just waiting for some poor young persons body to inhabit.
Damn, she must have been cold !

 This movie oozes with cheese like I said before, the characters are all basically one sided sterotypes and most rank up body counts, but of course resurrect to become blood thirsty one liner demons ! But don't let the cheese and campyness deter you, if this flick can be balled up in one word, that word would be FUN. All the characters are a pleasure to watch and you will undoubtedly have a great viewing. The FX and gore are fantastic, the setting is super creepy, there's plenty of sex and violence for everyone, and the ending is a neat "didn't expect that" kinda ending. It's a fun watch on Halloween night or any spooky rainy night.

Say " I Do" or else...

 Gore : 5/5 - We get limb ripping, eyeball popping, tongue eating, burnt to a crisp and more.

Gratuitous Nudity: We a few full on flesh shots, mostly by Linnea Quigley, and some 80's beaver.

Death Count : 6

Special FX : 5/5 - The make-up FX is fantastic, as cheesy as this movie can be, the demons are actually pretty goddamn scary.

Best scenes : Too many to name, the spontaneous mooning of a crabby old man, the makeout tongue ripping scene, theres plenty. But if I had to choose one, it would be the insanely cool disappearing lipstick in tit scene, watch and you'll see what I mean.

Alternate poster art

Things you will learn from this movie

When all else fails with getting laid, try your luck with the really...try it.

Why store your lipstick between your tits, when you can store it IN your tits !

Guys with sour balls don't get many blowjobs

First rule of stealing, show your ass to deter the clerks, works every time

Sex in a coffin looks uncomfortable, chicks dig it too, and it saves you from buying your own

You might be able to trade your sister in for a measly quarter

Make sure you don't try your dates moms cooking, it looks like shit, literally. 

Memorable Quotes : "Eat a bowl of fuck ! I am here to PARTY !"

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Pumpkinhead ( 1988 )

AKA: Vengeance The Demon

"A man conjures up a gigantic vengeance demon called Pumpkinhead to destroy the teenagers who accidentally killed his son."

The ice cold stare of hatred
The late eighties were a time when the dust was settling with the slasher era, there was many knock offs of knock offs, monster movies were starting to become more silly, basically most horror movies were doing the same style and vein as the others. It was time for something fresh....something that brought the scare back to the screen. Stan Winston's ( Special FX master on Terminator, Aliens, and Predator ) 1988 film "Pumpkinhead" hit that mark and knocked it strait out of the ball park. In my opinion this is one of the most under rated horror films of all time and one of my ultimate favorites. It can still holds a terrifying effect on its audience even after almost 25 years.

Haggis the witch

Ed Harley ( ultra cool Lance Henriksen ) lives the simple backwoods country life in the Appalacian Mountains. Ed runs a grocery stand ( that may be the only grocery in miles ) supporting him and his only son, young Billy. They go about their days tending to their store until one day a couple of city teens come along and accidentally injure little Billy. Ed finds his fatally wounded son and enraged by what he sees as carelessness on the teens parts, decides to call upon the ultimate act of vengeance. Harley visits a old witch that lives deep in the swamps, and together they summon the giant demonic being Pumpkinhead to avenge his loss. It runs its course on the teens,but little does Harley know he has to face much more than what he asked for.

The unlucky ones
As I mentioned before, my vote goes on this as being severely under rated, its almost criminal. The movie is absolutely rich in atmosphere and oozes creepiness. Even in the beginning title credits you know you are in for something special. The film has quite a color scheme going for it as well, there's plenty use of red, blue and orange that gives it a great eerie feel. As for the plot itself, its quite simple but works great. The loss of Harley's son is quite sad, so you really feel for the guy, those scenes are pretty heart wrenching. The true gem of this film is Pumpkinhead, who I have to scary as shit. The special effects on him are outstanding, as the creature looks just as real as you would expect a giant 9 foot pissed off demon would look.

The Demon
In all this is a absolute must see ! This is a perfect 80's horror film that gives us all the right stuff. Its sad, its scary and its downright badass. Perfect for a good scare on Halloween night.

Gore : 2/5 - Its not very gory, but that's just fine. We get a girls face carved into and smashed through a glass window, impaled on a rifle, amongst a few other things.

Gratuitous Nudity 0/5 - Nothing at all. Didn't need it though.

Death Count : 6

Special FX : 5/5 - This is the real star of the film, like I said, Pumpkinhead looks phenomenal.

Turkish poster art

Best scenes : By far my favorite is when Ed Harley visits the old witch. Her dilapidated house, her voice and just her screen presence is the stuff made of nightmares. I also love the pumpkin patch graveyard scene. There's old skeletons stuck in trees, old crumbling tombstones and right smack dab in the middle is Pumpkinhead's macabre and mangled looking burial mound. Talk about one creepy looking set.

Things you will learn from this movie :

Pumpkinhead hates religion.

Playing with vegetables is always a option.

Kids in the Appalacian mountains are fucking filthy and never change their clothes.

Never pick up guy that made stew outta their wife's foot.

Just when you try to do the right thing and change your wrongful ways, a giant demon kills you.

Some people don't know what a camera is.

The girl that screams and complains the most......always gets it the worst.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sleepaway Camp ( 1983 )


AKA: Nightmare Vacation

"Slightly disturbed and painfully shy Angela Baker is sent away to summer camp with her cousin. Not long after Angela's arrival, things start to go horribly wrong for anyone with sinister or less than honorable intentions." 

Ricky and Angela
Camp slashers were all the rage in the 80's after the extremely successful "Friday the 13th" film series. But there was a good few that shined from the bunch. This is one series that I believe succeeded at second best in summer slashers next to the big time Voorhees empire. A definite cult classic and underground gem, this flick is still talked about to this day as holding one of the most shocking endings in horror history. You can ask anyone and that will usually be the first thing that comes to their mind. I particularly enjoy this film because it strays from the basic "masked madman out for revenge" formula and instead boasts a clever guessing game of "could be" suspects. All of which seem a little "off" or have good reason to be suspected as a cold blooded murderer.

Aunt Martha ties strings around her fingers so she doesnt forget !
The film starts out with a accident that occured years before our central story, where one child and the father are run over by a speed boat. Cut to years later, Angela Baker and cousin Ricky are sent off by their insanely quirky weirdo aunt Martha to the annual summer camp for some summer fun. From the beginning you can tell aunt Martha lost a few marbles, and she has something to do with the storyline. Angela is also a little weird.....actually little is taking it lightly, shes really weird. She stares are other campers without so much as a blink without expression and barely says a word, so shes a easy target for the other campers to pick on. With her cousin Ricky on her constant defense it stirs up trouble at the campsite and then suddenly campers start to die off.....often in violent and imaginative ways.

Boiled to death
 Arrow to the jugular
Definetely molded to be fun and quirky, this film manages not to be very scary for the most part, but its unforgettable to say the least. Its rather funny though im not sure its entirely intentional ( god damn these kids swear ALOT ). The dialog is so cheesy its quite hilarious and gives the film a somewhat humorous entertainment quality. But dont be discouraged, the underlying sub-story is actually quite disturbing and creepy once you reach the final conclusion. Sure as hell shocked me ! The killers secret identity also isnt revealed to the end, so we often see a silhouette or a hand before each grisly murder is commited. Which I really liked because it keeps you enamoured to figure out the mystery. The acting is pretty ridiculous but it works with the feel of the film. The music is pretty basic stalk slasher stuff, it fits just fine. The murder scenes are pretty twisted and well worth watching. With all that being said this is a DEFINITE must see for horror fans. Its the kinda movie that went underated and overshadowed by all the bigger hit horror films at the time. Do yourself a favor and pick up a copy, the ending is the ultimate payoff !

Gore : 2/5 - Theres some nasty stuff here, but some deaths that appear off screen. Not too gory but still awesome !

Gratuitous Nudity : 0/5 - Well there is one.....full male frontal.

Alternate VHS artwork
Death Count : +12 - Some pretty nasty ones, boiled to death, curling iron into the va-jay-jay, stung to death by bees, decapitation, among many others.

Special FX : 3/5 - The bodys that do appear are pretty nasty and mangled. The boiling death is pretty impressive.

Best scenes/Things to look for : Theres tons, we meet a pedophile cook who calls kids "baldies", who is basically springing a hardon when the kids arrive off the bus, blowing kisses and shit. Its actually quite funny, and yet no one reports him ! The bee hive death is another good cringing scene. Stung to death on the shitter.....that really fucking sucks.

Things you will learn from this movie

Woman are terrible drivers all around....even on a boat.

You can bribe witnesses of a murder to keep shut by offering them $15 bucks

Mind over matter means getting a bare ass to your face

When the ALL the girls refuse to go skinny dipping, its perfectly normal for all the dudes to just go

Calling people "fags" and "pussies" while wearing booty shorts makes no sense

Memorable quotes : "you're a regular carpenters dream ! Flat as a board and needs a screw !"


Monday, July 4, 2011

Eraserhead ( 1977 )


"Henry Spencer tries to survive his industrial environment, his angry girlfriend, and the unbearable screams of his newly born mutant child"

Henry Spencer
Baffling, stunning, nightmarish and above all truely frightening. This is the only truthful way to describe Eraserhead. Directed by the legendary David Lynch ( Mulholland Drive, Blue Velvet, Lost Highway ), this remains to be his most disturbing film of his career....and of all cinema history. Rated one of the top 25 most dangerous films of all time by Premiere Hollywood, the film preys upon the viewer psychologically. Taking them to a surreal world of nightmares they could never dream ( or even fathom ) of experiencing.

The man in the planet....symbolism of god ?
Our films main character, Henry Spencer, lives in what seems to be a nuclear wasteland full of noises and pollution. His girlfriend Mary gives birth to a premature mutant baby ( with the news told at a very strange dinner scene ), together they decide to get married and move into Henry's apartment to raise the child together. But the mutant baby's continuous haunting cries lead Mary to pack her luggage and leave Henry to take care of the "child" alone.

The mutant baby
That's the basic outline of the plot from what the viewer can gather, because its hard to make sense of all the random and odd things that we are shown, coupled with that is some nightmarish images and scenes that will burn into your subconscious forever, like a bad memory that you want to forget. We see Henry's wife birthing worms, bleeding trees, a singing woman with deformed cheeks that appears from the apartment radiator among other things that are just.....ill put it blatantly....really fucked up. There is a true underlining meaning behind the movie, but Lynch refuses to tell what he was trying to convey to the viewer, its something you will have to witness and judge yourself. I myself have my own theories of explanation.
The woman in the radiator

This film is not meant for everyone, but its something I believe everyone should witness at least once. This Isn't your pre packaged Hollywood bullshit that's fun for the whole family, so think again. Its full of dark, depressing, and desolate visuals that make it arresting....and strangely beautiful. Its a world of surrealism you won't get to witness in any other film anytime soon. The music is just as eerie, the piano and organ sound like its being played out of a old haunted chapel and fits very well into the film. There's very little dialog ( the first 10 minutes are just strait film ), so its something you will have to pay attention to, but to try and make sense of it, don't be surprised if you end up watching it several times.

This is actually by far, the scariest movie I have ever seen and that is a fact readers. I still remember the first time I watched this. I was half asleep ( bad idea ! ) and had nightmares for a week about that damn baby, hearing its gurgling cries make me cringe. Everyone I've shown this film to has a similar reaction ( my sister and girlfriend hate it, and hate when I bring it up ) but ironically this became one of my all time favorite movies, because for some reason I just find it so endearing and fascinating. So if you are feeling curious and a little brave I would say check it out....if you can make it through the entire movie....

Gore : 0/5 - This isn't a run of the mill horror film what so ever, its not needed.

Gratuitous Nudity : 0/5

Death count : +1 - Though there is one death, and it is very, very unsettling.

Special FX : 5/5 - The baby is the true star of the film, Director David Lynch never revealed how he made the baby, because it looks so realistic it could not have been created by hand. Rumor has it that it was made from a embalmed calf fetus, but no one will ever know.

Alternate poster art
Best scenes : I  love particularly love the scene where the mysterious woman in the radiator emerges from the darkness to sing "In heaven". It sends chills up my spine everytime.

Things you will learn from this movie

Mutant baby's often are born looking like E.T

If you don't cooperate your girlfriends mom will start sucking on your neck

Cook chicken right or it will start to dance on your plate

Bums want severed heads that fall from the sky

When you die you'll be sold off for making pencil erasers

Mutant baby's are total cockblocks


Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2 ( 1979 )

AKA : Zombie Flesh Eaters

"Strangers looking for a woman's father arrive at a tropical island where a doctor desperately searches for the cause and cure of a recent epidemic of the undead." 

Promotional Stills
This is of the biggest Italian horror films of all time. The zombie head image above is just as iconic to horror fans as Leatherface running with the chainsaw in the original TCM or Pinhead holding the puzzle box on the cover to Hellraiser. Directed by the late Lucio Fulci " the Godfather of Gore " it remains to be his most popular film and is considered to be his masterpiece even after his death in 1996. Though this film was meant to cash in on the popularity of George Romero's "Dawn of the Dead", it proves that it can stand alone by any means.

Our film starts out as a unknown boat is mysteriously floating about the waters of New York city. The local police are called in to investigate, and while exploring one is attacked by one enormous fat and obviously hungry zombie. He gets shot by the remaining officer and thrown overboard. Moving onward, the boat is discovered to be owned by a doctor who months earlier went off to a distant island called "Matul" for research, he never returned. His daughter, Anne ( now all of a sudden concerned ) seeks to find out what happened to her father, she enlists the help of local reporter Peter West and together they hitch a ride with a vacationist couple to the island of Matul in search of answers.
The famous zombie vs shark scene

Once on the island they quickly discover the island is ridden with a terrifying disease that makes the dead return to life and devour the living, but not just any disease, this one has to do with voodoo. The group meets Dr. Menard and he informs them whats been happening with the islanders. Now the group and the last of the survivors must ban together and fight off the rising horde of flesh eaters as the gore gets spread on like a dripping jelly sandwich

I can see why this is such a cult film, its purely shocking. I remember the first time I seen this as a kid, I hated it. Not because it was terrible because thats not the case, but because I was shocked and terrified. Me being a young kid that was used to the USA's popular horror like Night of Living Dead, Friday the 13th and such had no idea about Italy's super gory and gloomy horror, it burned in my memory. Now today it remains as one of my top 10 favorite horror films of all time, go figure.
The cringing eye gouging scene.
But I think the title "Zombi 2" needs a little explanation, because I know you must be thinking "well how good is part one ?". Well this is part one in a sense actually, see when George Romero's "Dawn of the Dead" was released in Italy, it was under the title "Zombi", so to cash in on the success, Fulci released his film under "Zombi 2". But in the United States Fulci's film is just called "Zombie" Get it ? It is kind of confusing. There was sequels to follow, keeping the "Zombie 2" thing going in italy, there was a "Zombi 3" that was partially directed by Lucio Fulci before he quit the film, it wasnt even close to being as good as its predecessor.
Zombie feast

The film starts quickly and moves at a decent pace, never losing track of its plot. The theme is interesting itself, its gloomy and fits very well, but its one of those themes that you'll never forget hearing, you should not be surprised if you have it stuck in your head all goddamn day. Another aspect I liked was that the cause of the epidemic was voodoo, which is a change of pace for once, and is loosely based on the original roots of the zombie legend. Fulci's direction is similar to all his genre films, heavy on mood, shocking, and of course cringing ( lots of gory close ups ), its a simple formula and it works well. The acting is decent, no ones going to get a academy award here, but its believable ( better than some hollywood actors ). All in all I can't say much more about this film that hasn't been said already, if you are a horror fan, this is a absolute must see ! Its a underground classic that deserves more recognition.

New York is doomed
Gore : 5/5 -This one packs a punch full of blood, guts, brains, and disembowelment, its no surprise it's a influence on many death metal bands as well. We get a nasty closeup splinter to the eye, neck tearing, bitten chunks of flesh, juicy head explosions and much more.

Gratuitous Nudity : 2/5 - We get a few shots of nudity. One complete with thong and one shower scene.

Death count : 10+

Special FX : 5/5 - The zombies are extremely well done with the whole rotten and decayed look. Not too much over the top but just right.

Alternate poster art
Best Scenes : Many to choose from, probably the most popular is the complete underwater scene where a zombie battles a live shark, im not sure how they did it, but its way fucking cool. I also liked the Spanish conquistadors graveyard scene where we first see the iconic zombie in the above image.

Things you will learn from this movie 

Zombies and sharks are mortal enemies.

When there's a giant splinter going toward your eye its best not to simply move out of the way.

When your woman calls you evil, cruel, and demented, just slap her.

Getting down to your birthday suit in front of strangers is perfectly normal, especially in front of your husband.

Making out with a stranger saves you from getting arrested.

Voodoo drums make women lose it.

Memorable Quotes : " The boat can leave now, tell the crew"


The Pit ( 1981 )

AKA: Teddy

"A solitary and strange boy wreaks revenge on the people who harasses him when he makes a disturbing discovery in the depth of a forest." 

What a gem this one is, and I say that with the utmost honesty. I have a VHS copy of this that I bought along with hundreds of tapes I purchased during a closeout of a old video store, so one day I randomly popped one in my VCR and it just so happened to be this flick.....good choice. The Pit was made in the golden era of horror films, in the very beginning of the 80's and must have missed its mark somewhere with the big greats that shadowed it. This film is gold, I mean you wont find a academy award winning movie, or amazing performances or shit like that. But you will find a very entertaining way to burn up a hour and a half.

"Can I ride your bike ?"
Our films central character is the autistic ( and insanely creepy ) Jamie Benjamin, who along with his stuffed best friend "Teddy" cause misery to the people of his town. This also must be a really small town, since he seems to be the only autistic kid for miles judging by the way people talk crap about him. But anyways, he's a pretty odd kid, he cuts nude pictures out of magazines and puts pictures of his neighbors on them, tries to ride the local kids bikes even though its obvious everyone thinks hes a total creeper, among other extremely odd shit he does throughout the film. But what REALLY sets him apart from everyone is that he has one really cool secret, he's found a giant hole in the ground, and deep down in that hole are ancient creatures called "Tra la logs" and hes the only one that knows they exist.....yet.

"Do you like washing me ?"
His parents hire a attractive babysitter named Sandy ( who's one of many sitters that failed ) who spends most of her time trying to understand the extremely odd  ( and perverted ) Jamie, while he falls in love with her. He also expresses his love by watching her sleep with her dirty pillows exposed, attempting to look under her skirt ( with his parents there too, this kid gives no fucks ! ), sneaking in while shes showering and writing creepy shit on the bathroom mirror, among other super creep insanities.

"Im sure we can find some bad people Jamie"
Everyday he leaves to go find food for the Tra la logs, but nothing seems to fit their appetite ( I don't think monsters like chocolate bars son )  until he finally discovers that they crave raw meat. So one day Teddy gives him the bright idea ( yes, Teddy speaks to him as a voice inside his head ) that all the townspeople that treated him like crap should be next on the menu for the creatures. All the while poor Sandy is trying to make sense of the disappearances and Jamie's behavior, until Jamie finally decides to let her in on the big secret.

"So that's what you eat !"
I really love this film, I can see it not being for everyone, ill admit the Tra la logs look like midgets in suits in some shots and there is some extreme cheese.But there's alot of things The Pit has going for it. Sammy Snyders as Jamie Benjamin is super convincing as a perverted autistic kid. Waiting and watching for this character to do more weird shit is part of the fun, so the film never gets boring with that in mind. The music is really quirky and fits with the sillyness of the film perfectly. The acting is passable otherwise, no complaints here. I would recommend this to any horror fan or anyone that just wants to see something downright original and entertaining as hell. Its worthy of having some friends over and grabbing a case of beer.

Devouring victims
Gore : 1/5 - There's not much going on in the gore department, but to be honest, the film doesn't really need it. Though there is some decently gory shots of the creatures feasting on butchered human remains, but thats about all we get.

Gratuitous Nudity : 2/5 - We get a few boobie shots by Sandy and one hilarious one by the local librarian. See below.

A cool foreign DVD release cover
Death count : 10+

Special FX : - 3/5 -  The creatures are decently done, they have cool glowing eyes and the closeups arent bad. The gory eaten remains look realistic too. Could have been better but it works.

Best scene : - By far is one particular scene where Jamie cons the local librarian by calling and telling her that her daughter has been kidnapped, and the only way to get her back is to flash her old titties by the window while Jamie snaps pictures for Teddy ( Teddy also says he's going to look at them alot ). By far the most ridiculous shit ever ! Another memorable scene is Jamie pushing a old crippled woman in a wheelchair into the giant pit, so god damn funny.

Things you will learn from this movie 

Librarians are considered hot stuff.

Monsters eat chocolate.

When old people start the "back in my day" speech.....just kill them.

Convincing women to take off their tops is easy.

Teddy bears are perverts.

No one can see giant gaping holes in the ground.

Its hard to tell the difference between green and yellow.

Picking flowers for a girl should make her automatically forgive you  ( yeah right ).

Memorable quotes : "How old is your boyfriend ?" * Stares crazy eyed at Sandys chest *